So, I realize this probably should have been my first post, but it wasn't. So, here it goes.
There are two main reasons I have felt compelled to start this blog. First and foremost, I wanted a place to share all of the wonderful things God is doing in my life, all of the things He is teaching me. Even if I'm the only one who ever reads this thing, I like knowing that I'll have these things written down somewhere.
Secondly, I wanted a place to jot down all the cute, funny, random, and even frustrating things my kiddos do each day. If I don't write them down, I know there is no way I'll remember them next week, much less in 20 years. So, yes, the antics of my children will be documented here.
So, why the title "Beholden to Grace"? I wanted to use Grateful for Grace, but it was already taken. And Grateful to Grace just didn't have the right sound. Also, when I asked the 2 1/2 if I should do Grateful to Grace or Beholden to Grace, she promptly answered, "Beholden." Anyway, I've really become much more aware of the power of God's grace at work in my life over the last couple of weeks. I've had two of the best weeks, as far as getting my life together goes, and I know that it's only because of His grace! I'm so in awe of how much He has showered me with His grace. I think for the first time, or at least the first time in a long time, the reality that I really can't do everything on my own by myself without His grace has made it from my head into my heart!
I've always struggled with following through on things, maintaining a schedule, getting my duties done everyday. I've tried numerous times to implement schedules, etc, all to no avail. Several years ago, my mom gave me a copy of Holly Pierlot's book A Mother's Rule of Life. I just finished reading it for the 3rd or 4th time and finally, for whatever reason, it clicked! I decided it was finally time to actually start implementing my own Mother's Rule. The difference this time, for this time it is actually working, I think is that I'm fully relying on God's grace to sustain me and help me to live out my vocation to it's fullest. This is something for which I am and will be eternally grateful! (On a side note, I highly, highly recommend Holly's book) I've also been reading The Spiritual Life by Fr. Adolphe Tanquerey. I've been reading a lot about grace in this book. It's as though he wrote it just for me to find here in 2011 when I needed it most. Don't you just love it when that happens? I know I do. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been transformed by God's grace, and I am completely beholden to that grace (hence the title of my blog) now and forever! Now don't get me wrong, the past two weeks have not been perfect, by any means, but I feel as though the scales have fallen from my eyes and that I see more clearly now than ever how it is that I can fulfill my vocation: by asking for and then accepting the grace that He is always ready to lavish up on me.
I was praying the other day, so thankful to have found this new way of living and looking at my vocation. It was only the 2nd or 3rd day of trying to live out the Rule I've been working on, but I had this overwhelming since of peace that this was something I could actually do and continue to do for the rest of my life. That as long as I continue to rely on His grace, I can and will follow through on this. This isn't just a passing phase, another blip in a long list of failed attempts. No, He will give me the grace to live my life this way, to truly fulfill what He is asking of me in my vocation as a wife and mother!
So, that's where I find myself these days: falling ever more in love with Love Himself, basking in the glory of His grace! Beholden to Grace!
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